This Bitch Makes Me Angry

Before discovering this girl's videos, I used to put on some Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz if I really wanted to get my Incredible Hulk on for "the club" or doing sex or any of the other extreme activities in my extreme lifestyle. I don't know if it's because of her misshapen Mr. Potato Head features or if she's just an annoying whore but god damn she makes me angry!!!











I know it's not very Gandhi of me, but I really want to punch her in that big nose.

Cheese Oven

From now on I'm calling lady parts the "Cheese Oven".







On a related note. I <3 Amy Sedaris

An Ode

I can't get the Obama girl from yesterday out of my mind. If you're reading this, these love songs are for you...



My Girl



All I Have To Do Is Dream



Loving You (Is Easy B/C You're Busty)



When A Man Loves a Woman



Baby Love

Who R U Voting 4

-or-

G-Spot Boyz

I've been doing a lot of thinking. I know I'm going to get kinda super throwed for Halloween. I've got my costume mostly figured out, I know where I'll be celebrating and I know what I'll be drinking but until yesterday I didn't know the dance that I'd be doing.

Drum roll

I'll be doing the Stanky Legg



Download the MP3 G-Spot Boyz - Stanky Legg (Yousendit)

(via Different Kitchen)

I <3 Dallas rapp

But, That Is Nothing

Brazilian Mami Monday!

Elza Soares - Mas Que Nada

a cover of the original:

Jorge Ben Jor - Mais Que Nada (1963)

and then there were tons of other covers, including this dance song from 1998 (con babes):

EchoBeatz - Mas Que Nada (1998)

and this Nike commercial featuring terrorists kicking a bomb around an airport:

Smells Like Clam-knuckle

Riskay featuring aviance and real - smell yo dick
Video
Envoyé par JapanManiak sur wat.tv

this happened to my friend moneybags. his girl sniffed it and said it smelled like cheesy lava sauce, so it was all good, dude was just gettin his fourth meal on.

Interview with Berkeley's Hard Knock

I got the chance to talk with Berkeley's greatest rap group,Hard Knock, in an exclusive Beezies & Bankrolls interview.

First some pictures off their myspace to familiarize you with the the group



Da Kid



Lil Nico



Freaky

How did you guys meet?

Me (Da Kid) and Lil Niko met in a cypher behind Steamworks in Berkeley. About a month later we met Freaky while we were camping out in front of the Virgin Megastore to meet Clay Aiken during an album signing. We all got along so well and had so much in common that we were inseparable from then on. This was a very happy day in all of our lives.

We did get sad when Clay's tour manager told us that we weren't what they were looking for in back-up dancers.

What are some swagger enhancing tips for the kids?

Our number one tip is never stop celebrating Jesus.

Who's swagger inspires you?

Lately we've been really into Liberace, that guy's swagger is so on point. All that fur, all those diamonds, he's quite the sex symbol. He's sexier than Cam'ron.

What are your thoughts on Old Spice's Swagger deodorant?

It's actually a funny story, this is how the hook for "Swagger Right" came about. We used to be all about TAG deodorant when we were going through our Abercrombie faze. Once we started rapping more hardcore our crew decided to all switch over to Old Spice's Swagger flavor. Lil Nico has really really short arms, which wasn't much of a problem while using TAG because it was spray on. With Swagger since it's roll on, Lil Nico's arms couldn't really reach, so he'd have to lean his torso closer to his tiny T-Rex arms. We would all gather around and cheer him on "Lean get your swagger right", that's where the dance came from.

How did the whole BET thing come about?

This is such an amazing story. We are HUGE fans of America's Next Top Model, and we made a couple tribute mixtapes just for Tyra and J Alexander somehow Freaky mixed up the mailing addresses and was sending the mixtapes to the cast of BET's Baldwin Hills (go figure). One thing led to another and we got on 106 and Park. It was all very exciting.

Does going on Youtube and seeing all the lames doing your dance make you guys upset? Or is it just a sign that you are on to something good?

Do you mean the fat Asian? Yeah it really bothers us. Soulja boy gets buffed out shirtless dudes to get while and crazy doing his dances, we get the bottom of the social barrel. But i guess every trashcan has it's lid.

Explain Hard Knock's notalkin movement.

Our NOTALKIN movement is a lot like the Army's don't ask don't tell policy. Yeah it's true we're into men, but we ain't tellin'.

Who are you guys listening to?

Only the most swagger having dudes, Elton John, Liberace, Cam'ron and of course Clay.

This interview was a lot tougher to get than I initially expected. There was a lot of back and forth correspondences on Myspace, finally I got the answers I was looking for in our gmail inbox.

Now I just wish I would have asked how the "Hard Knock" name came about.

drunkathlete.com

drunkathlete.com : one of my favorite sites documenting pro athlete's sipping habits

Davey B here enjoyed one too many BL+Lime


"Hey seriously, call me. Hey, no, seriously, call me. I'll make it juicy for you."
It's hard to tell when AZNs are winking or not.

Gimme Racks

I've been a loyal fan of The (Wolf)Pack for almost four years now, much like being a 49ers or Warriors fan, it hasn't been easy. Before Young L's ridiculous auto-tune love disco dance tracks or the 30 or more myspace music pages filled with Lil B's craptasic nonsensical suburban peace and luv inspiration tracks, it was pretty easy to defend my position that The Pack is next level. It's getting rough, and harder not to feel like a teeny bopper.

Young L and Lil B keep disappointing me with their lowrent attempts to make a Gym Class Fall Out Heroes online presence. A good example is this 18 minute long video of pure discomfort.



Even after watching videos like the one above and listening to horribly shitty "songs" I find it nearly impossible to be mad at him for three reasons:

1. His diamonds

2. Songs like this



3. His skills wrangling Myspace groupies (He claims to have over 600 pictures from lady fans), here's a sampling




























So in the end, I think I'll be swinging from their Lil Young Stunnarific sacks for a while longer.