Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Desperate times call for desperate measures

Vagina Abuse

Front booty abuse is one of my pastimes, but are these young girls ruining future generations by hurting their reproductive holes? I'll have to do some investigation of my own this weekend.

Thanks for the links Doyle. Watching this vagina abuse was very empowering. It makes me feel great being a MAN in 2k9.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Sore Throat

I love it when a girl tells me I gave her a sore throat. It feels like such an accomplishment. Even if it was only strep.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Nigella's XXXmas

Cooking is quickly becoming my favorite hobby. Not because I like cooking but it's fun getting fat and cooking shows are so erotic. I constantly pop boners watching Food Network. I'm starting to learn that the real action is on British cooking shows. Check out how sexy Nigella Lawson is.

Rachael Ray Gives Me A Stiffy
Aria Giovanni in the Kitchen

In Case You're Sleeping

<a href="">Smack Ft. D-Lo by Roach Gigz</a>

<a href="">Thumbs Down by Roach Gigz</a>

This is how I'm living.
<a href="">Drive Slo by Roach Gigz</a>

Really Check out the whole tape.

Friday, December 19, 2008


I guess I've been a little faulty checking my email, I'm a couple days late with this. I highly recommend this tape. GAS.



"Bay Area rappers Roach Gigz and Lil 4Tay collaborate to form the group B.I.G. (Bitch I Go). This is a "turf tape" compilation of released and unreleased original tracks they have recorded over the past two years. It includes the song "Git It" and "YOY" which have both received considerable play on Bay Area Clear Channel Radio Stations 106 KMEL and WILD 949. Their debut album titled "M.A.N.G.O." is scheduled to be released in 2009.

released 16 December 2008

Production by SWERVE, Roach Gigz, Doc Dolla, Reggie Reg, Fonz (Mobb Fam), and Jay Ant (Diligentz)

All songs written and performed by Roach Gigz and Lil 4Tay

Hosted by Mistah Fab"

Real hot. Check out Roach Gigz myspace to hear some next level astroplane stuff.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


I feel really uncomfortable making jokes about Asians.


Drama - Left Right Left

Eff Food Network

Rachael Ray has nothing on Aria Giovanni in the kitchen.... or in the rack.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Nancy in Sugar Town

Obviously we know Nancy Sinatra's boots did lots of sexy things:

"These Boots Were Made For Walking"

But Nancy also F'd with an S-load of MAD MAD COLA:

RC Cola Ad

When you're a total babe, you don't have to buy your own drugs. This song is about Nancy's sugar daddy (Lee Hazlewood prolly) buying her hella drugs (she put so much candy up her nose they called her Olivia Twist):

Nancy Sinatra - Who Will Buy?
"I'm so high, I swear I could fly / me oh my I don't want to lose it"

When you spend all your money on cocaine and have to live in the woods, but you don't care because you're high as F, it's called living in Sugar Town:

"Sugar Town"

And when you're on an epic coke bender, you inevitably do something stupid like getting married:

Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra - Jackson
(When you have a sweet mustache you can pretty much beat the shit out of women and they love it)

If you haven't heard a lot of Nancy Sinatra, you should check out The Essential Nancy Sinatra, she's got some legit jammies (I'm knocking The Highway Song nonstop right now).

Messages From the Stars

Thursday, December 11, 2008



just check out the fresh advertising over the years:





GIRL YOU GOT A 10 PIECE PLEASE DON'T BE STINGAAAAY! <---probably one of the best commercials i've ever seen.

the ultimate ALTcessory

it's fun to have a little animal you can dress up and take care of until you're sick of it and you can leave it at the pound-- they won't let you do that with a baby which is bullshit. but like, seriously, everyone has a f'ing dog and if you carry around a cat ppl think you're homeless. i want an animal that is like 100% ironic in a modern urban setting, and takes HUGE shits that i totally won't pick up:

Uh Huh Her - Not A Love Song
speaking of huge piles of shit, how awful is that song? mute it and watch the shit out of that mini-horse.

for real though, that little mini horse would totally fit in my loft. and he'd fart on the elevator and get really huge red rockets...


I've been waiting hella long for this video to drop.
I'm kinda getting a jelly belly like Gucci.

Gorilla Zoe, Gucci Mane - Waddle


The other week I saw some a rap video with a kid wearing a fur-lined lumber jack hat (with ear flaps), a college hoodie, basketball shorts and flip flops rapping about beer pong. I didn't get it. I've been trying to figure out who the fuck Asher Roth is, and how did he get famous.

I figured it out. He brings out the high-heels. Thanks for your investigative work Internets Celebs.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Think Twice

In 1992, the El Paso police department fancied themselves rappers in this cautionary tale about gangbangers. The song's called "Think Twice" (words & music by Greg Brickey).

Dear Keyshia,

I've changed. I promise. Lets try this again. I know I messed up. I can't do this without you. I'm buying you a Southwest ticket. Come to L.A. Lets do some make up sex.

<3 W

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Times are tough. I'm not buying Christmas presents this year. I'm just emailing this guy with 10 different fake email addresses and giving people THIS BOOK as a gift. If you want, you can get a free copy of Sophomore Undercover HERE.

The book is super funny. The author on the other hand is a bit scary. He might rape your baby.

I read the book. It was really funny at not nearly as gay as Amazon's review makes it sound.

"For fifteen-year-old, adopted Vietnamese orphan Dixie Nguyen, high school is one long string of hard-to-swallow humiliations... Dixie's luck takes a turn when he stumbles across one of the jocks using drugs in the locker room; not only does he finally have something newsworthy to write, but the chance to strike a blow against his tormentors at the school as well."

Monday, December 8, 2008

Hip To Be A Square?

I know Mac Dre took a strong anti-square position:

Mac Dre - Anti-Square

I would say this video prolly started the ANTI-SQUARE movement:

That video makes me want to puke.

Then Sesame Street responded with a very convincing PRO-SQUARE argument:

Totally, right?

But no, to further confuse you, people started hyping triangles:

They Might Be Giants - Particle Man

The 49ers

So classic.


Ex-cop Barry Cooper left the dark side and started the website where he sells his DVDs instructing you how to trick da bluebirds. Here's a piece on his newest project, a reality show called KopBusters:

Deys after our Kristmas Treez ya'll!

via J-Lolololo

Saturday, December 6, 2008

An "R" Rated, Rather Kinky Tale of Survival

a hot young don johnson and a talking dog chase tail. see this movie:

A Boy And His Dog (1975)

Friday, December 5, 2008

Dodgeball Groupies

Brooklyn seems fun:

special AZNs also fun:

Thursday, December 4, 2008


Got this greeting card in the mail:

Bankrolls is scarce, folks. Let the man haul your shit. Dude's got keys to 3 MEGA DUMPS. He ain't a bum and he don't MILINGER. It took him 8 WEEKS to design this card! The FONT-WORK is HOT! HIRE THIS DUDE!

Emotional Hippies

Just when I thought Nth Carolina was a really cool place, they pull this shit on me. I think that YouTube is fucking with me too Mr Wheeler... "I.... WOULD LIKE TO MOURN.... THE INTEGRITY...OF....YOU..TUUUUUUUUBE!"

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Feel The Beat

electric stimulus to face -test3 ( Daito Manabe )

Quality Promotion

Caught this on the news on Thanksgiving. Quality reporting. Quality promo. Quality dude. I'm a fan.

I <3 Lil Wayne. I <3 calling local news.


I used to love youtube. Today I went onto Youtube looking for "Bag Habit" by B-Legit. I wanted to use the song to illustrate how much Los Angeles has made me into a bitch. When that song came out I didn't know a single one of those designers, I probably picked up on the Louie and Gucci parts while in college, but for the most part I was clueless. One year in LA and now I know every fucking single one of them, and I can even give you the names of different furniture designers (for reallly).

I couldn't find the song, but I re-found the "Recommended for You" section of Youtube. This used to be great, they'd recommend me rap vidoes and videos of white girls shaking their meat parts, but not lately. Now every time I check they recommend me some weirdo borderline molester videos like THIS (breast feeding video) which has left a sour taste in my mouth and made me want to avoid the "Recommended for You" section. Today I made the mistake of checking out what Youtube thinks I might like and got:

Youtube needs to stop playing games.

I think with the combination of this blog post and the heartfelt emails asking them to cut out the boyz humping pillows videos, worked.

I just checked and Youtube recomended me YOGA BABES DANCING. THANX!

Someone is playing some baby games with my account.

He does have some tasty looking nippies though.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Drugs Exist in Japan Too

Sometimes when ppl get high they look AZN. I don't think I've ever seen an AZN high (maybe it rounds them out?), but I bet this Japanese musician Shugo Tokumaru tokes the umaru daily:

Shugo Tokumaru - Button

Shugo Tokumaru - Green Rain

Shugo Tokumaru - Karte

Shugo Tokumaru - Parachute

Monday, December 1, 2008


I miss Jim Rogers

Peaches and Cream

This song is real real nasty. I always thought Novel was a slow eater, but this weekend, a friend told me it's really about licking front-butt. I do not condone this action unless you need the lady to do you a really big favor.

I might be jaded when it comes to pussy eating, probably because the first girl who talked me into doing it, started bleeding mid-act. Gross.

Energy Saving Tip #2:
In this rough economy, B&B is trying to simplify your life, and save you money. My tip for today is save sex until you find a lady that's bleeding in her pants. It might be more mess, but there is almost zero stress. You can save money on condoms (little know trick, STDs can be killed by pouring vinegar on your man parts before you go in). Just think! You can save $2000 by avoiding just 4 abortions a year! For that kind of money think how many bricks you could buy to put in your toilet tank and minimize water waste in 2009 (after 10 years you can afford a Prius).

Energy Saving Tip #2.5
Have unprotected bloody sex at HER house. This way there's less stress the huge MESS of a murder scene you're about to create. If you're doing this at your house, you'll easily spend all the money you're saving on condoms and planned pregnancies on new sheets, bleach, and/or those plastic sheets that 8 year olds with pissy pants have.