Tuesday, September 16, 2008

VAMPIRES: Are You Buying It? Pt II

Campari, the liquor your stepmom mixes with orange juice and drinks all fucking day (get a job, whore), is also the favorite of another kind of bloodsucker: vampires. Campari was concocted in the 1860's by an Italian fellow named Gaspare Campari, and 150 secret years later Campari still made from the same secret formula of secret ingredients...

Obvi, this commercial gave me intense (and confusing) boner-guilt. But it also raises several fascinating points:
1. Vampires will eat you no matter your genitalia. Boy vampires will eat boys, girl vampires girls-- in that regard, they are enlightened.
2. Eyes Wide Shut was a neat film and I liked the scene where Tom and Nic share a joint and then fight in their undies!
3. Campari is people!-- a fact Charlton Heston was close to uncovering before he imploded into his own front-butt.

Further evidence:

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